Our Adoption Story Part 1

Hmmm, where do I begin? I guess a little background on our family would be helpful.

Matt and I have been together now for about sixteen years, and this November we will celebrate thirteen years of marriage.

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We were married several years before having children, but we often found ourselves discussing what we desired our future family to look like, and adoption often came up.  At the time we had no idea what that would look like for us, but we knew, somehow, that we wanted it for our family.  Now, before anything actual adoption related began for us, in November of 2012, we welcomed our son, and third child, into our family.

Seriously, aren’t they the cutest?

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Matt and I always wanted a big family, but after carrying three children, I wasn’t particularly interested in doing it again.  So, if we wanted a bigger family, adoption was going to have to be the avenue that we used.  I had heard from other adoptive families that adoption could take years to organize, and although we had just welcomed a new little guy, we wanted to started the adoption process in case it took several years.  So in May of 2013 we sat in on an informational meeting at an adoption agency.  We liked what we heard at the meeting and felt like we should start filling out the paperwork to get started.

Now God works in mysterious ways and this next part kind of rocked our plans.  Literally three days after attending the meeting with the adoption agency, I got a call from my father telling me of an unusual circumstance with another family member.  I can’t go in to all the details, but a three month old baby needed temporary placement, or he was going into Foster care.  The timing couldn’t have been more perfect for us.  Although this wasn’t an adoption, our hearts were open to caring for a baby in need.  So, we agreed to take this little guy into our home.  A few weeks later he arrived and a couple of months later we became his temporary guardians.

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When this situation fell into our laps, it was a very strange adjustment.  It was very stressful at times caring for four children, two of which were under one.  Matt and I were juggling a lot.  We had to learn to be patient with each other, be more selfless than ever, and remember that we were on the same team.  We had to remind each other that these moments of being overwhelmed would pass.  The most amazing transition for us, is that it really did bring us closer as a couple.  I know that stressful situations can force a couple to disconnect, but in our case, we were drawing closer to the Lord.  No doubt we couldn’t have done this without God’s protection and mercy.  Matt and I individually grew strength from the Lord which helped us to support the other when the other was down.  There is no other explanation for our transition, because believe me, we weren’t always the most kind to each other.  The grace we were able to give to each other came from the grace that God has shown to us.  I’m the first to admit that I’m not a very patient person, but this situation gave me no choice but to yield to my circumstances and just wait for what was next.

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Now, if you’ve ever been involved in an adoption process or foster care situation, you know that nothing is done quickly, and you, as the parent, have no control of the system or the timing of anything.  Our temporary situation quickly turned into one year.  Nothing had really moved in any direction, and we were just waiting for the unknown.  When we first welcomed this little baby into our family I remember saying out loud, “I can love and take care of this little boy without becoming attached to him.”  I wasn’t trying to be cold…I was simply trying to protect my own feelings of falling in love with a child I wouldn’t be able to keep.  What I learned is that it is impossible.  He was only three months old.  He needed me for everything, and giving myself to him, like any mother can relate, manifested itself into love for this child.  I fell in love with him so quickly as if I had conceived him myself.

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Now, fast forward twenty one months later.  We’ve been caring for this baby for a year and a half.  He is growing perfectly into this sweet toddler.  He has only known our family, and everyone in our family has reprogrammed to be this family of six.  It is a beautiful picture, and we are so happy.  The only problem is that nothing has been made official.  Matt and I can’t bare the thought of loosing this little guy.  So, we decided that it was time to pursue adoption of this sweet baby.  He deserves to by a part of a permanent family.

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This is kind of where our story is stuck.  We’re pursuing adoption.  We’re not sure how long it will take.  We’re five months into the legal side of things, and again, we are just waiting.  Most of the time we feel like we are waiting on the system; however, we have to keep reminding ourselves that we are waiting on the Lord.  There are so many hoops to jump through and people to deal with in the legal system, and it has been very frustrating.  But we believe that the Lord put this desire of adoption in our hearts.  He orchestrated the circumstances, and He will bring us through the trials. Thankfully we have been blessed with a huge support system.  We have the best family, amazing friends, and the most supportive church family.  Sometimes I feel like a fraud as my faith waivers from moment to moment.  Because my faith has waivered, and I’ve doubted the Lord’s goodness to me, I have found comfort in the verse, “… for not everyone has faith.  But the Lord is faithful, and He will strengthen you and protect you from the evil one.” 2 Thess. 3:2-3.  Oh how amazing is the actual truth that God is always faithful and good.  He knows what is best for my family, and His timing is perfect.

Romans 8:28 – And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

 

Our story isn’t complete, and we need your prayers as we walk this journey.